Now shut up and listen. I get about 300,000 emails a day. But my
Outlook is screwed up so really I only get about 3. Those are usually from me, sent to remind myself to pick
up more grecian formula. But SOMETIMES, just ONE TIMES, those emails are from someone else. Someone real. Someone
like this guy:
this site is made by a genius i am in awe
-PuckHead0
PuckHead0 is right and wrong. I AM a genius, however, he is NOT in
Awe, Mississippi as he indicated. I spent $643 on plane tickets and no one there could tell me who PuckHead0 was
or what an airport was or where Awe, Mississippi was. So anyways, I wrote him this email:
Mr. Head0,
Allow me to call myself Gent Delabor. Please allow yourself to do the same.
At this point I'm sure it has become apparent to you that I am CEO and Chief
Executive Officer of THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,. Why you may ask? I don't
think anyone can truthfully answer that. In fact, all THORAX employees have
signed a written Affa David stating that if asked "Why is Gent Delabor,
Sr. the CEO and Chief Executive Officer of THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,.?" they
are not allowed to truthfully answer. Leg's most common response is, "I
have to use toilet now. Bad ingestion." But I digest, there are matters
of upmost import regarding business of most high caliber that you and I
must discus.
Mr. Head0, I don't need to inform you that our nation is in the mist of
a reception. And no one is suffering more than the ergonomy. The dotcoms
are dying at a rate of rate times time. But THORAX is standing it's ground!
Our lease ended 6 months ago but have we moved a single piece of discount
office furniture? Yes! Back to my parents' basement! That's right, Puck,
THORAXCORP.COM is getting back to its roots. And we want you on, bored.
First, before any introduction, let me thank you for your kind emails. You
are just the kind of person I need to serve as my right hand dan. You are
the kind of person that thinks I'm a genius, and that's important. In fact,
Puck, it's umportant. I could really use someone like you around the basement.
You could follow me around, buy me lunch, and tell me what a genuis I am.
This used to be Leg's responsibility but he's allergic to mold and the basement
is musty. Allow me to roll out a brand new service from THORAX CORPORATION
LLC,,...
THORAX DYMANIC INTERN v1.0!!
That's right, it's YOU! Start right away! Work from my home and earn hundreds
of ones of dollars a year! As a dymanic intern you'll have access to the
entire THORAX campus. The office, the driveway, the back porch, Leg's room,
my parent's kitchen! Don't delay! But don't Delabor. Federal regulations
restrict all Delabors from THORAX DYMANIC INTERN v1.0, violations punishable
by debt.
How to do it?! I have NO IDEA! Ask this guy:
Little Lord FontLereaux laments:
"I showed up at 403 Figgis Street with a bag of clothes and a heart full
of dreams. I left with bandaged hands!!"
Forensic Scientist hollers:
"Whimper, whimper, sob, sob. That's all I hear all day! Thanks THORAXCORP!!"
Restaurant Sam requires:
"2 weeks pay! Life on the street is hard. Thorax Dymanic Intern v1.0 made
it even harder!"
So there you have it. Poof positive of our success. When stardom comes knocking,
we slip out the back door. Please reponse soon and let us know will you
be joining THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,. at the waist or do we have to get ugly?
Through it all,
Gent Delabor, Sr.
CEO THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,.
Chief Executive Office THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,.
CFO Global Stardom Entertainment
I never heard back from Puck and I'm beginning to fear the wurst.
But just as I was about to cut the chord, I got this letter inside of my email!
I wood like to sine op fer yer secund incum streem. I m 5 fut se7en and non
fat. send im hear. tanks.
Andre
It didn't take long for me to figure out that this guy was an
idiot and that reminded me of my brother Leg. But Leg wasn't around so I stole a bag of his Sun Chips and
sat down to write a real winner:
Mr. Vieria,
I am what you would call Gent Delabor, Sr. As you probably already know,
I am CEO and Chief Executive Officer of THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,. What this
means is, I make more money than anyone else here at THORAX. And it's about
time I got a raise. That's right, despise the economic reception our nation
is in the mist of, THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,. is cutting loose! We've just
been approved for (1) count them (2) major grocery store chain credit cards!
Chips and dips? No problem! Here comes little THORAX with a gun in his hand.
And where will he take aim? At anyone that will listen.
So in honor of the huge galla were going to throw, we're throwing a PARTY!
And your invited! Admission is $500 US. Tuxedo, wad of cash, and (2) hot
dates required for entry (Tuxedo will not be returned, dates will be confiscated
at door). Baby Carrots and Doritos will be on sale for $5 apiece and a gourmet
bucket of chicken will be available to those who go to KFC beforehand and
buy one.
So when is it? Whenever you get here! How long does it last? Until you leave!
Start your plans today!
THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,.
403 Figgis Street
Mundelow, PA 80808
Always Impressive,
Gent Delabor, Sr.
CEO THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,.
Chief Executive Office THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,.
CFO Global Stardom Entertainment
No response from Andre either and he's taller than anyone here
at THORAX so we've locked and bard the door justin case.
|
